Dreams and Nightmares
by mgsab123
Summary: "It was long past the point now that she could be positive if what she saw was a dream or not." New Chapter up... Road's "Daydream"
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer: I... Don't own -man. Yet.

Okay, this is just a random musing. Since Road is the Noah of Dreams I have a few dreams (some memories) written up that I could add to this, and am planning to write more. If you like this idea =)

I made this chapter as a fan-made past for Road's awakening. This is her original "Dream" that turned into a "Nightmare".

Hope you like, Read and Review!

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She had it all.

That was what everyone told her.

She was living a dream.

That was what she believed.

Road stared at the mirror in front of her, clutching a small white teddy bear to her chest. Her long black hair cascaded down her back in light waves that the maids had spent hours on trying to make her hair corporate with. Her violet eyes seemed to blaze with self contempt as she swirled in front of the mirror, her new white velvet dress dancing around her.

"Do you like the dress?" her mother questioned from the doorway.

Road smiled widely, her small face scrunched up with glee, "I love it!"

Her father appeared from behind her mother and smiled at Road as he wrapped his arms around his wife, "We're both so glad you like it."

Road smiled softly as she squeezed her bear. Yes, she had it all. She had a loving mother and father, the nicest things, and a beautiful house.

"It's time for bed," her father stated as he looked at the clock, "Good night angel."

With that he walked over to her, planted a kiss on her head, and made his way out. Her mother stared after him, even though Road was young she could tell that the look in her mother's eyes was pure love. Road's stomach felt all warm.

After she had gotten on her clothes for bed, a white night gown, her mother tucked her in.

"Mom," Road questioned suddenly as she laid her head back against the pillow, "What are dreams?"

"Dreams?" her mother repeated as she smiled and kissed Road on the cheek, "They're just your mind thinking up things while you sleep."

Road bit her lip, "What do they mean?"

Road's mother sighed, "Oh, honey I don't know… Nothing probably. They're useless fluff."

"Mom," Road whispered to her mother's retreating back, "Then what re nightmares?"

Her mother stopped, her hand resting on the door frame. She turned slowly to face Road, an odd, vacant look on her face. Her mother's face looked almost… haunted in the light streaming in from behind her.

"Nightmares," her mother started slowly, her voice empty, "Are a dream gone bad."

Road woke to a crash downstairs and swearing. Her stomach seemed to want to throw itself up, something was wrong. She never heard swearing.

She made her way out of bed and wrapped her white robe tightly around herself. She quietly made her way to the door, grabbing her bear on the way out.

As she shuffled down the hall, she shivered. It just… didn't feel right. She yelped silently as she felt her foot collide with something wet. She glanced down towards the ground, only to fall backwards in shock.

On the ground was blood.

She stared in horror at the patch of red, her eyes wide. Her mouth was frozen in a silent scream. She couldn't move. It was then that she noticed the rest of her surroundings, her eyes having adjusted more to the night.

The world seemed to spin as Road struggled to stay conscious. All around her were bodies… dead bodies of her maids and servants. She noticed the coppery smell in the air; she saw the stains of red surrounding her.

She couldn't hold it in any longer, she puked.

She probably would have just curled up into a ball and pretended that it was all a bad dream, but a crash and a women's scream made her shakily get to her feet and move on. She forgot all about her bear that she had dropped when she had fallen backwards, the bear left to soak in the scarlet blood.

She stepped around the corpses, her hand covering her mouth so she wouldn't scream when she accidentally stepped into a pile of blood… or on someone's lifeless hand. She didn't know why, but she felt that she needed to be as silent as possible.

Road paused outside the door that would lead into her living room. She gulped, her heart hammering against her chest. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what was on the other side of this door.

Road reached out her small hand which was trembling horribly, she pushed open the door. The smell and sight that greeted her made her legs buckle beneath her as she fell to the ground by the sear impact that the scene before her had. Tears started spilling out of her eyes uncontrollably.

There was blood everywhere. That was the first piece of the scene her mind registered. The second was that the lump on the floor was her mother. The third? It was that all that blood she saw was her mother's.

The other part of the scene was the figure standing over her mother's paled corpse, holding a bloodied knife. The figure turned towards her slowly, his face half hidden by shadows. But the half that Road could see told her all she needed to know… and much, much more then she wanted to know.

It was her father. His face was emotionless as he stood over his dead wife, his face splashed with blood- _her_ blood. And probably the maids and servants blood too.

Road could only whimper as he walked towards her, not saying a word. She could only just suppress a sob as he lifted her by her hair and rested the blade against her throat. A trickle of blood fell down her neck as the knife pressed in harder.

She was going to die… she was… No.

As her father lifted the knife to end her life, Road lashed out making the knife miss its target but instead cut painfully through her long hair.

Road fell to a heap on the ground, her black hair falling around her. Her whole body felt drained and she noticed with a small mirthless laugh that she had landed in her mother's blood.

She couldn't move, her body was too heavy. The most she could manage was to roll over to stare at the ceiling. Maybe she could watch her killer end her life at least.

Road gasped in pain as her father plunged the knife into her stomach, then pulled it out with a sickening plop. Again… Again… and Again… the blood rained to the ground. It flew in slow arks, seeming to fly. It was disturbingly beautiful.

Road stared numbly at her stomach, watching as all the wounds bled out her life. Her robe and nightgown was consumed by the bleeding scarlet. She didn't feel anything. After the first few stabs, everything had started to slip away.

Now it was all gone.

Darkness pressed in on all sides, she didn't fight it. She collapsed into it thankfully, smiling slightly as warmth spread throughout her body.

Then she screamed. The warmth turned to liquid fire. She was burning from the inside out, everything was throbbing. She felt like she was being stabbed by millions of needles. A pressure built up in her skull, seeming to threaten to split open her head and send her brains flying in a million different pieces. She thrashed around, clawing at her head to no extent. Red trickles of blood ran down her face, self inflicted.

She wanted it to all end… everything… her head… it was going to explode… God… please… God…

Then it all stopped.

She felt… nothing. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking as she tried to see if anything hurt. It didn't. She slowly stood up, shaking only slightly. Her father was staring at her in horror.

"Monster…"

It was the only and last word that came out of his mouth before he looked down to see Road's hand through his chest. He coughed up blood, his eyes slowly closing. Road pulled her hand out, her face emotionless just like her father's had been.

Blood covered her clothes and arm, but she kind of enjoyed it. She broke out into an overly wide grin, it twisting her face into something slightly grotesque. She giggled, the sound maniacal. She lifted her hand and licked the blood off it.

It was then that she noticed her appearance in the mirror.

Her hair was jagged and short, and her outfit was ruined. She expected this. But what held her attention was something… else. Her skin was darker and her eyes were… yellow. She stared in wonder, the yellow eyes in the mirror- _her_ eyes- shining brightly in the darker room.

She could only stare in wonder as crosses slowly appeared on her forehead, bleeding down her face. Her yellow eyes widened in shock before she passed out, collapsing to the blood soaked floor.

Her last thought before she passed out seemed to hang in every inch of the now desolate mansion.

_Wasn't it funny how a dream could become a nightmare so easily?_


	2. It Always Ended In Blood

Disclaimer: Yea... My wallet isn't big enough yet... so, well... I don't own -man...

The rests of the Chapters aren't going to be in any specific order... just saying that now =)

This one is Road's dream *cough* nightmare *cough* about Allen.

Hope you enjoy, Read and Review (I really LOVE reviews *hint, hint* *shove, shove*) and if you have any ideas/requests for future chapters just tell me =)

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_It always started so pleasant…_

_ So warm…_

A feeling of pure bliss overcomes her. She felt so warm, so secure, so… different in his arms.

"I love you Road," he whispers into her ear as he holds her tighter.

"Allen," she sighs as he brings his lips back to hers.

_But soon the warmth faded…_

_ It always faded._

Road opens her eyes to Allen's shocked ones. Then he falls… slowly as if time is dragging out his decent. She reaches out to him, a cry on her lips. She recoils as she sees her hands. Bloodied. They are stained scarlet. Her cry for Allen turns to one of horror. She stares down at her hands, her eyes widening in shock. Her small hands shake as the whole world begins to sway.

The only thing she can see is the blood coating her hands. The stain of red against her pale skin. She feels her stomach twist. The blood looked so ominous. So…

"Road," came Allen's subdued voice as he lay on the ground.

Road's attention snaps back to him at the sound of his voice. Tears spill out of her eyes as she falls to the ground next to him. She reaches out her hand to touch his face, a sob shaking her body.

He is surrounded by blood. It caresses him almost lovingly. His eyes are glassy, his white hair stained red. There is blood seeming to come from everywhere. Road's hand rests on his cheek.

"Why… did… you…" his voice trails off into nothingness as his eyes slowly close.

Road's hand drops, smearing the blood on his cheek. She begins to shake as a maniacal laughter overwhelms her.

_She didn't know why, she couldn't control it. _

She threw her head back, still laughing. Her arms wrap around her body as she shakes from the force of her laughs. Red tears fall to the ground from yellow eyes, leaving tracks on dark skin.

_Why…_

_ It always ended in blood._

Road woke with a start, staring around her room numbly. She made her way out of her bed and walked over to the window, staring out into the beautiful garden below. It all seemed so tranquil… so false. She held her face in her hands, laughing mirthlessly.

_It always ended…._

_ The Dream…_

But even in a dream she couldn't be with the one she desired.

Blood had to follow, chaos had to consume.

_Reality always kicked in._


	3. Music of Betrayal

Disclaimer: Yea... I still don't own -man...

New Chapter! Yay! The only problem? After this one I don't really know what to write about for Road's dreams and nightmares... any ideas?

Please Read and Review, some ideas for other chapters are welcomed. Enjoy! :3

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Soft music seemed to fill the room. The sound grew and grew until the whole room was overwhelmed by the heartrending music. Tears came to Road's eyes, she couldn't control them.

_This melody seemed familiar…_

It wasn't that she had any memory that she could recall of this song but more because of the fact that she just KNEW that it was such a miserable song… the way it was played… it was hauntingly beautiful. It sounded so wistful.

As the song changed tempo slightly, her feet began to walk on their own. She couldn't help but move closer to where the song was coming from… closer… She came to a white room with a piano in the center. Playing on the piano was a black shadow.

Road squinted her eyes to try to see who it was playing but it was too dark in the blindingly white room for her to make out the figure. The figure, whose hands had been flying over the keys previously, stopped. Slowly the figure turned towards Road. She held her breath, waiting to see who it was playing such a sad song.

Then it hit her.

She gasped in recognition as a swarm of bitter memories flooded back to her. She took a step forward, her eyes wide.

"Neah?" her voice shook, sounding hopefully hesitant, guarded.

The figure, Neah, smiled as he stood up, the tails of his suit flying behind him. He extended his gloved hand towards Road. Time seemed to freeze, the melody still eerily in the air even though it was not being played anymore. Road took another step towards him, her body numb.

She didn't want to believe it… or, well, she just didn't want to get her hopes up. She had wanted to see that face, the face that had haunted her for as long as she could remember, for the longest time now. She had yearned for this moment… and to have it happening… she just couldn't shake the fact that this was too good to be true.

"Road," Neah whispered softly, his hand still waiting.

A pain shot through her chest as she choked on a sob. His voice… she couldn't help but have missed him so much. No matter what he might have done… how much he had hurt everyone… she just couldn't find it in her to be angry with Neah when she had so desperately wanted to see him again.

"Come," Neah added with a slight beckon of his hand.

Road couldn't hold it in anymore, she burst out running to Neah.

Then she was falling. Darkness seemed to surround her, cutting off a still smiling Neah with his hand still extended. She reached out her hand desperately towards him, trying with all her strength to get a hold on his hand.

She cried in relief as her hand was grabbed firmly by Neah, her falling paused. He smiled down at her, his face the face of an angel. Her hand felt so warm, so secure.

Road smiled back up at him, grateful to see him, to be able to touch him, again after all this time. Tears started to fall down her face as she held Neah's hand tighter, bringing her face to rest upon it. Everything felt alright for the first time in awhile. She hadn't noticed how NOT alright things had really been until this moment.

But then cold snow started to fall.

The white flakes danced in the surrounding darkness and with a rueful smile from Neah, they seemed to engulf him. The hand that Road had been holding faded away into snowflakes, adding to the many others. Road cried out, her hand still extended in front of her, as she started to fall again.

As she spiraled down into the darkness, which was stained with the white snowflakes, she could hear what sounded like the melody from before.

_"I'm sorry."_

The music seemed to whisper in what sounded frighteningly like Neah's voice.

_"Forgive me."_

Road didn't start awake. She woke slowly, tears silently running down her face. She just laid there, her eyes closed one minute then open the next. Her body felt numb and her chest ached with lost. She now could comprehend that it had all been a dream but it didn't change the yearning that was re-acknowledged. She did truly, desperately, want to see Neah again.

She extended her hand out in front of her in the darkness of her room, just the outline of it visible. She laughed softly to herself, thinking about how stupid she was… how stupid emotions were. They made no sense. Her laughter died when she felt warmth surround her hand… almost like someone was holding it. A strangled sound escaped her mouth.

_Why did even in a dream Neah have to go? Leave her?_


	4. Distortion

Disclaimer: I... still don't own -man...

So this one is a little confusing... but what can I do? Writing an RoadxAllen/Neah was fun but odd... So tell me how you like =)

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There's a face. That Road is certain of. The rest of the face is a blur. The lips move, but no sound comes out. She shakes her head, stating that she can't hear. The lips frown, something about it seems nostalgic. She can't place it, but there's this feeling that she has seen this face many times but yet not at all.

The body that goes along with the face turns away from Road. It starts walking away, not even pausing when Road cries after it. The steps leave behind this curious trail of a color that is neither white nor black.

Road runs up and grabs hold of the hand attached to the body, only to drop it in surprise as it turns a disfigured blood red. She stares at it in shock, a faint green cross glowing from where it is embedded on top of the hand. Then, as fast as it appeared, it vanished leaving only a plain hand in its place.

The body turns, revealing the face once more to Road. The eyes shine out at her, an illuminated yellow. The eyes speak of promises, of trust. She reaches out her hand, gently stroking the now ashen colored cheek. Then the left eye distorts, turning a vibrant red. Red tears fall down the ashen cheeks, cheeks that were paling to a color to rival snow.

Betrayal. That one thought hits Road so hard she staggers back. Afraid of the red eye. Of the blood stained face. Of… those silverish blue eyes? No… yellow… No black. Pitch black.

Road starts to sway as she stumbles a step forward, towards the body, those eyes, that scare her. It wasn't logical, no. It was beyond logic, this wanting of such forbidden things; things that were not hers to take.

Road feels her legs give out, but she is unable to do anything. Everything around her is foggy, distorted. It is all too bright but yet much too dark. Acid burns in her mouth as she feels like she has to throw up. Everything is moving, twirling around her. Smiles flash of white clowns, gloved hands play a pure white piano, a dark face flashes a too wide smile.

Just when it gets to be too much, strong arms wrap around Road. They hold her, keeping her in place. Soon, everything stops moving. She glances up at the shadow, _person_, who is holding her. A warm smile greets her on a scarred face. She reaches up her hand to touch the white hair, something compelling her to check if it feels as soft as it looks.

As her hand touches the hair, it darkens. She recoils her hand in shock, gazing up at yellow eyes. The face smiles down at her, but it is almost a mockery of the warmth from before. This smile is not of warmth, but pain. Rueful.

Road pushes herself away, able to stand on her own. She stares at this person, her eyes unfocused. The figure frowns, reaching out an ashen hand that turns a disfigured blood red. She takes a step back. Sorrowful eyes follow her, flashing from yellow to sliver to red. She takes a step forward, her hands shaking as they hesitantly reach out. Yellow eyes and ashen skin reach out to claim her hand.

"Neah…" she whispers.

The yellow eyes widen as the ashen hand falls from Road's. The figure falls, hair turning white as yellow eyes dull to silver. The ashen skin pales to a deadly color, lifeless black eyes stare up at her. She collapses in front of the figure as the white hair turns red. She reaches out her hand to touch the figure's cheek.

"Allen…" she whispers as lone tears drop from her eyes onto the bloody face below.

The figure turns its head slowly, its lifeless eyes staring right into her core. She gasps out in fear as it grabs her throat and pulls itself face to face with her. The face smiles, just a shadow. It tilts its head, the hand around her throat tightening.

"We're not 'Neah'," the thing started, two voices coming out a moment after the shadow's mouth moved, "Nor are we 'Allen'."

Road could only watch as the figure seemed to split in two. Half resembled that of 'Neah', the other half resembling 'Allen'. The two different people seemed to be separated by a jagged crack down the center, almost like cracked glass.

Then the crack seems to distort, parts of both leaking into the other. Blood red eyes adored ashen skin, dark and white hair mixing. The warm smile had twisted into a smirk, yet still held hidden warmth.

Road stares in horror, sputtering out, "But… then which… no… _who_ are you? You're so gone… distorted I can't even tell!"

The new figure laughs, "Who are we? Don't ask such things until you can handle it. And we're distorted? Look at yourself _Dreams_."

Road wakes up with a gasp, running her small hands over her face. She slowly gets up and makes her way to her mirror. She frowns into it, but what reflects back at her is smiling.

_ "And we're distorted? Look at yourself Dreams."_

Road digs her nails into her palms until little red droplets of blood form. She breathes in then out, a small giggle escaping her lips. She flashes her hand out, breaking the glass. Shattered pieces fall to the ground like rain. Some cut her arms as they descent, the fragments reflecting the same smiling face. Over and over again, it laughs up at her.

_Distorted…_

Road's face turns cold as she steps on the glass with her bare foot, reducing the smiling face to dust. Again and again she repeats this, blood smearing the floor from her bleeding feet. She wasn't distorted. No. She knew who she was. It was just that that smile sometimes got on her nerves just as much as this cold, blood stained one. She just couldn't stick with only one. It was more fun having two personalities, two faces. That way things wouldn't ever get boring.


	5. Daydream

Disclaimer: Well, yea you know the drill.

Ah! I am so sorry to everyone who has been reading any of my stories! I haven't updated in such a long time... I just haven't been able to write in awhile and I didn't really want to rush any ideas... So yea. But this little idea seemed to haunt me and I found myself thinking about what I would write for it constantly xD So, here it is! I still sort of rushed it and would have maybe written more or done things a liittle different, but I really just wanted to get this up. I hope you enjoy and if there is anything you would like to see, just tell me!

Please tell me how this chapter came out, if you like it or love it... or well just plain hate it and have no idea where this came from! With all that said, you can read now ;)

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_It was long past the point now that she could be positive if what she saw was a dream or not._

Road held her hands behind her as she walked down the path. Her feet seemed to move of their own accord and her mind wasn't taking in the small stores lining the street then anything more then that. She hummed to herself under her breath, her eyes wandering lazily, resting on whatever they pleased. She was someplace else entirely then her body.

_Or at least, that's what she assumed_

It was only with dull eyes that she watched someone jump off the top of one of the buildings, landing at her feet. The face was all hazy, a blur of black on black. The only thing noteworthy was that the blood was a beautiful scarlet.

Dolls with bleeding eyes dragged themselves from the shadows as Road just stepped over the bleeding body without pause. She didn't even turn to look as she heard the dolls ripping apart the flesh of the body she had just past.

_This was all normal to her._

Nothing was beyond possible to her mind. It didn't matter if it was a dream or not. Her dreams and her reality were ever linked. She never looked to clarify which was which and she doubted that she could even if she tried. She was the Noah of Dreams. She was forever caught up in her own little world. It was nothing new.

_But sometimes it scared her._

Road sat down underneath a rotting tree that had toys strung from it, or at least that's what she saw. She was in a little park outside the nameless town. She just stared at people as they passed by; some had big balloon heads while others had a reptile tail. Each person seemed to only get more bizarre. She giggled to herself as she watched the "people" past by. Road's giggles stopped abruptly when she saw a head of white hair. She breathed in sharply, this was when it started to get scary.

The only part that bothered her about her dream reality was that the things that troubled her could constantly haunt her. Like now.

Before her was Allen. He was dazzling, even in the world that was morphed by her mind. He was defiantly him… but yet not. He was standing surrounded by corpses in the middle of the park, a small smile on his face as he tilted his face to the sun that seemed to shine only for him. Blood coated his clothes and dripped from his hair. His white gloved hands were no longer white but the deepest scarlet.

This all would have been find. It wasn't the corpses or the blood that made Road have to struggle to not cry out. No. It was the fact that the corpses were her family's bloodied forms. The blood was Noah blood feeding the ever hungry ground.

_But it got worse. _

This scene was forever ingrained in Road's mind but Allen was not supposed to be the center piece... This was the same scene as of the day that Neah… the day Neah had killed everyone. This was meant to be only for Neah, the horror of it that ran so much deeper then simple betrayal, but yet Allen was the shining star; the light in the center of the carnage, the one that stood out vividly against the scarlet blood of her family.

The scene morphed though. It always did. Her world always turned and twisted feeding off her own mind, her own fears and likes. Her memories.

_What it turned into was a deeper wound._

This time, it was Neah she saw. But he wasn't alone. He was walking and laughing amongst the exorcist. His back was turned towards Road, she couldn't even hear him. Except that pure laughter that was like liquid suns. It seemed to mock her. It all did.

A redheaded exorcist wrapped his arm around Neah's shoulders as they laughed together. The one on the end looked away. The female smiled at Neah with so much compassion in her eyes…

Road couldn't take it. She wanted to rip every single one of the Exorcist apart. She yelled out for Neah, who turned around sharply as if startled.

Road, who by this point had stood up and started walking towards the group, stopped. Her stomach dropped as she took a step back, her hand covering her body as if for protection. She almost wished Neah hadn't turned around.

It was his face. Oh, his face… it was the same one that she remembered, but yet… yet it now went from being startled by seeing her to furious, to protective. Neah shoved the girl behind him as if protecting her as he glared at Road.

Road gritted her teeth. She couldn't stand that look… that glare… the hatred… not from him. Her hands clenched and her nails dug into her skin.

_This was what made her hate her dreamworld so much sometimes._

Neah roared out unintelligible words before he threw himself at Road, his arm turning into a distorted version of Allen's. A tear escaped down her face, falling slowly. Candles appeared out of nowhere and, before the distorted claw of Neah's could tear her skin, they imbedded themselves in Neah.

_This is what made it so scary to her._

Road fell on her knees before Neah's bleeding body. Tears openly fell, clouding her vision as she ripped out one of the candles from Neah's chest. She raised the candle and plunged it into Neah's body again and again. Blood was everywhere, Neah's blood… but she couldn't help but continue to stab him.

How could he? How dare he? Attack her? Hate _her_? How… how… her fury at Neah faded, as did the tears. She stared down at his mutilated body, her hand dropping the candle as if it was on fire. She covered her mouth with horror.

How could _she_ do this to Neah? She… She…

"Road."

Road jumped slightly from her spot beneath the tree. She glanced up into the worried eyes of her "father" Cyril.

"Road, what are you doing here?" Cyril asked, his face was for once serious and his voice held serious concern.

Road smiled up at him, "I'm fine!" she chirped, "Just felt like a stroll."

Cyril frowned, "Are you hurt?"

"No… why?" she said innocently as she took his offered hand.

Cyril's frown seemed to deepen before he smiled at her, "Oh nothing… You're just covered in blood. But as long as it's not _yours_…"

Road froze as she looked down at herself. Sure enough, her clothes were dyed scarlet. She swayed on her feet slightly before she recovered from the shock and smiled up at Cyril, shrugging her shoulders as if dismissing the blood off as of no importance. She took his hand and startled pulling him away from the tree. She smiled, but a sickening feeling made its way through her, settling in her stomach almost like acid.

_Oh, she hated these never ending dreams._

_These daydreams that haunted even her waking hours._


End file.
